I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
