Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
