I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
