Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
