I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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