she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
