yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
