She said her name was "party"
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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