I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I need to calm my uterus...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
