Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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