dude i'm inner monologue high
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
