watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
