How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
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