it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
