She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
