come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
