...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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