I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize
