Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
