And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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