I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
is wine microwaveable?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
