tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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