No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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