im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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