Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
