Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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