Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
