I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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