Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
