mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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