Say something about gay babies.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Randomize