I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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