You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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