i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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