fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
