They have a pepper shaker for pot.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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