I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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