Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
