He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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