Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
