"it" just moved
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
