Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
