I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
