im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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