how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
