dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
