I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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