i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
