If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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