Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
