Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
