Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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