this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
