Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
