Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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