People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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