I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
