Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
