Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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