i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
