Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
