using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
