Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
