I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
