Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
