elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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