its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
