omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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