remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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