i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
