i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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