you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
