There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
