I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
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