hotel room ftw
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize
